Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Laurel and Hardy

Laurel and Hardy

 

Oh Man, I wish I was as happy as these two guys. Who happen to be heroes of mine. Come to think of it, I’m not sure that I have ever experienced a state of true “Happy.” Maybe I have, I just don’t really know. Doesn’t feel like it.

Things have been so weird these past three months or so. All sorts of things have gone wrong.

I can’t even remember what some of them were! Such is the state of my mind. Not so good.

This past month especially has featured the rapid decline of my aunt, who as some of you know is the focus of my full time care giving these past several years. To make it real short, she’s coming home on Monday from a stay of a week and a bit in hospital to start in on her hospice. Yeah. Pretty awful.

I can hardly imagine what’s going to happen in the next month or so… let alone what the aftermath will be like for me.

It’s going to be very strange.

Of this I am certain.

I can’t help but think that everything will come to a halt.

I hope that is false and the predictions of the many that claim that I will be rewarded are right.

So much has drained out of me.

I await my fate and will attempt to influence it.

Peace.

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Colorectal Surgeon — Bowser & Blue

qualityshows Uploaded on Jan 14, 2009

From my hit CBC series COMICS! Montreal comedy legends Bowser & Blue provided us with this look at the ins and outs of the medical profession.

A major hat tip to my dear friend William Glenn Ackley…!

Thanks mucho for a great Sunday morning laugh!

Not much more to say about it… enjoy!

Peace.

ROFL Mao!

Clearly, these people have no clue.

diagonaluk Uploaded on Sep 29, 2011

Welcome to the world’s best new tourist destination. Welcome to North Korea.

Hahaha! A North Korean cruise ship.

This is what happens when you impose 100% isolation on yourself and your people for 60 years.

The initial premise that it is for needed revenue is plausible as they know that there are cruises and that those cruises are pretty popular. Been on two myself. The problem here stems from the rather  likely fact that… no one’s ever been on one!

And… what to do about putting on influences from the outside world, like the shopping the Chinese tourist suggests… can’t have that! No! Duty-free cigs? Ha!

It’s apparent right from the standardized “tour” that visitors are taken on and shown in just about every doc you see about visiting the DPRK. Never cease to amaze, the Northern ones.

Seriously, the realization that they seem to fully believe in their hearts that we would not see right through the well-planned situations created and in every one of the places meant to impress us, huge places, completely devoid of visitors. So bizarre. So bizarre.

Isolation.

Quite sad, in a way. 25 million people prevented from participating in the daily life of planet Earth. Or even knowing that it exists.

It’s changing, though, albeit excruciatingly slowly. Through goods smuggled back in, (which is an act of heroism, surely). That spreading of knowledge must continue.

Ah, well, have a laugh.

Peace.

1920s, Doreen taking an alligator ride.

I thought this worthy of inclusion.

We certainly can get along just fine with ancient reptilian lifeforms.

And too much regulation spoils the fun.

Rock on, Doreen!

Peace.

This piece, my friends, is truly a wonderful thing…

Enjoy… and Merry Christmas!

Uploaded by on Dec 22, 2009

Frank Kelly’s Christmas Countdown.

A simple slideshow to accompany the hilarious take on the Twelve Days of Christmas by Frank Kelly.

I don’t think you can buy this song anywhere anymore, but I’m making no money from this little vid, so no copyright infringements are meant.

Oh, pity the poor mother… as for the partridge, well…

 

god‘Enough Already With That Moron,’ Says Almighty

 

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Rev. Pat Robertson’s controversial remarks in which he advised that it was acceptable to divorce a spouse with Alzheimer’s drew a harsh rebuke from God Almighty, who held a press conference today to tell him to “shut the fuck up.”

The bearded King of the Universe, dressed in His trademark flowing white robe and carrying a lightning bolt, spoke to reporters at New York’s Hyatt Grand Central for forty-five minutes in a press conference specifically called to denounce the televangelist.

“I’ve held my tongue while he’s jabbered on and on about me punishing this group and that group with floods and earthquakes and such, but this was the last straw,” He said.  “Enough already with that moron.”

In addition to debunking Rev. Robertson’s Alzheimer’s statement, the Almighty categorically denied using natural disasters in the past to punish gays, Haitians, and other targets of Rev. Robertson’s scorn.

“Oh, please,” He said.  “That’s just weather.”

On another topic, God attempted to put distance between Himself and the presidential candidacy of Gov. Rick Perry of Texas: “Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.”

###

Note: This post has been copied from and is ©2011 Borowitz Report.com, because as readers will know I am very sensitive to Alzheimer’s issues and because it’s simply “right on.”

 

 

Uploaded by openmindstv on Apr 26, 2011

James Moseley has been interested in UFOs since the beginning of the modern era of Ufology in 1947 when Kenneth Arnold had his highly publicized sighting. Since then he has been a controversial figure, often focusing on the personalities and conflicts in UFO research. Beginning in 1954 he published a magazine called Saucer News for many years. Currently he sends out a newsletter called Saucer Smear. He says Saucer Smear is a humor and UFO-gossip journal for the “hard core” flying saucer buffs. Moseley will be sharing with us his history and his views on the hot UFO topics over the years.

• Note: The Interview Starts At 29:30.

I love James Moseley! Editor and still Supreme Commander James W. Moseley, J.S., if you please!

The J.S. stands for Journal Subscriber, a reference to his rank in the strange outfit known as MUFON, the Mutual UFO Network; and is also a reference to his attitude towards same. Hehe.

His Saucer Smear is one of the few refreshing diversions in the lunatic asylum that is UFOlogy; it is the world’s Oldest Continuously Published UFO Journal. It never fails to delight. Well, me at least. Some  other folks, however, have taken exception to Moseley’s no-holds-barred style of reporting, notably my friend’s mentor, the late John A. Keel, who once referred to poor James as “a boil on the ass of UFOlogy.” That line is pure Keel – and never fails to crack me up – much like Moseley’s celebrated prose! Ha!

If one is to have any hope of finding success and personal satisfaction in any form of Forteana – especially UFOlogy – one absolutely must have a healthy sense of humor. It is very much a religion to many involved, you see and there are several factions, all equally as silly. None, I assure you, are destined to figure out one damn thing, but it sure is fun to watch them squabble, as it were, and no one covers it better than James!

I hope I get to meet him someday…

Peace.

UFO Abduction. Copyright 2005 Phil Scroggs.

Merry Christmas dear WATT readers… and Happy New Year, too!

Found this fabulously Fortean painting by Phil Scroggs combining the spirit of Christmas and the fringes of UFOlogy a little while ago. Nicely, nicely done.

Thanks very much to you all for reading WATT, those few little hits that come this way are truly appreciated. They even help with depression abatement.

Regarding depression abatement, found out that the St. John’s Wort tablets recommended by a friend do in fact help, but the expense is daunting due to their packaging, no doubt intentional.

I’ve sincerely hopeful wishes that things will be much, much better in the New Year
for each and every one of you!

Not holding my breath for myself here, though, as the Nightmare On The Cob is evolving rapidly and more bizarre events to assist with mind wreckage are no doubt afoot.

But, hey, maybe I’ll get work. Whoa, then I could fix my car! Maybe I’ll sell some art. Maybe someone will… ahh… maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe not. Actually got invited to contribute to a book this week (along with dozens of others), but, it’s already too late. Depression’s not nice.

Plans for WATT are just to continue as normal, but I really must do that post I said I’d do for spynode on the Navy’s Space Command. Patience, spy… it’s a huge subject.

Anyway, be safe and enjoy your families and friends to the fullest.

Peace.

unexplained

Found this at one of those sites where strange, odd and funny pics are displayed.

So… do any of you have anything you can provide regarding the seemingly simple question of – “What In The Hell Are They Doing?” Anyone?

Such data will be appreciated. I am intrigued by this. Who are these people?

Thanks in advance.

America 2010

Photo by Lily E. via Wonkette

As Tara McGinley said today at Dangerous Minds… “This pretty much sums it up.”

Wow. What a classic shot. What Tara stated so succinctly is so tragically true. What was once the “greatest country in the world” has been turned into something far, far different. And that something is displayed – perfectly – in the fortuitous photo displayed above.

The photo goes deeper… as it also shows the state of the union regarding the dumbing down of our population, which has been official education policy since the mid-1860s.

I would bet, and quite safely, too, I believe, that the person who put those letters on that sign has absolutely no idea that he or she has erred. Jeezus.

There is no date on the photo, but I note that that gas price is about 60 cents less a gallon than it is around these parts.

Don’t know about you, but, I just don’t have any desire to try “a anus burger” at all, thanks all the same.

It would be entertaining to see the CEOs of these two companies wolf a couple down, though.

Alright, then. Peace out.

All of America Captured In Single Photograph

Hey UFOlks,

American Freedom RadioI’m trying to get word out to friends and fans of Jim Moseley that Mack White and I will be having the Supreme Commander on as our guest Sunday, May 23rd from 7-9pm CST.

We’re going to open up the phone lines in the second hour and would really love for you and other friends of his to call in to ask him questions or at least just to say hello and wish him well.

The number to call is (512) 879 – 3805.

Spread the word!

– SMiles Lewis

www.PsiOpRadio.com

Listen via the ANOMALY RADIO and AMERICAN FREEDOM RADIO Networks

www.AnomalyRadio.com

www.AfreeRadio.com

https://i1.wp.com/www.anomalyradio.com/site/wp-content/uploads/anomradlogob.jpg32k Stream Live

ReCasts Daily 7pm CST

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The Necronomicon

Do you want to be a nicer person? Are you looking for inspiration to do good things? Well keep looking. But if you’re into opening up terrifying vistas of reality then the Esoteric Order of the Old Ones and Cthulhu Cultists want to help. Contact us today to find out how.

Posted to YouTube on October 15, 2009

This decidedly humorous parody ( is it, really?) of a commercial for the “Mad Arab” Abdul Alhazred’s dreaded Necronomicon was passed along to us by the notorious Fortean known as Pucabob from deep within his lair in the wilds of southern Maine via Yahoo’s Fortean discussion group known simply as Fort.

Some may scoff, but remember dear readers, the voice of Cthulhu has been recorded!

As an added public service, our Puca also sent along the commercial below, this one for the purpose of flogging the Great Old Ones’ newest concoction, generously ladled from their roiling cauldrons of calamity, designed, we are told, to protect us from those nasty, nasty Flying Polyps. Somehow I doubt it’s FDA approved, but, hey, you never know…

Elder Sign

If you suffer from an overwhelming sense of dread brought on by the realization of your own insignificance in the universe, then you need Elder Sign. Visit Elder Sign dot ca.

This fabulous failure in highly classified government signage comes to us via the wonderful failblog.org.

I wonder if it’s really real, but somehow, I think it just may very well be.

Isn’t it just wonderful?

!

Sprinkler Rainbow Conspiracy…

This video extravaganza is simultaneously the scariest and the funniest thing I’ve seen in more years than I care to remember.

I have met some people in my Fortean travels that have seemed as if they were at least one slice short of a pizza… maybe even two… but this lady… not only takes the cannoli, she scares me. I wanted to roll on the floor laughing, but I was so astounded – that I forgot to!

With a hat tip to Richard Metzger for posting this World-class candidate for Most Credulous to Facebook, I present it here for you now, the enlightened readers of What’s All This, Then? to experience for yourselves. And trust me, it’s going to be an experience.

Brace yourself…

So… Can there be any doubt, any at all… that the dumbing down process is now, for all intents and purposes, complete? Can there be any confusion as to exactly why our ever-so evil government has been able to get away with everything they have so far, with total immunity and even encouragement?

Choice comments from Facebook:

  • “I’ll have what she’s having..”
  • Love the spelling in the text, too.
  • I have a plastic bag of “rainbow making stuff”.
  • This makes my eyes leak saline.
  • “this is mind-bottling” ;D
  • … and next you’re going to say that wasn’t Jesus imprinted in that slice of toast on Ebay a couple of years ago!
  • The dumbing down of America, ladies and gentlemen. Sunlight + Water particles = RAINBOWS. What an idiot.
  • I think its the fluoride.
  • The camerawork is outstanding as well…
  • what is oozing out of our ground ?

Lunar Mining Technology Developments

Posted: June 16th, 2009 in Forteana, humor, Moon
Tags: , ,

Rockwell AutomationFor a number of years now, work has has been proceeding in order to bring prefection to the crudely conceived idea of a machine that would work to not only supply inverse reactive current, for use in unilateral phase detectors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronising cardinal grammeters. Such a machine is the ‘Retroencabulator’. Basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of the power being generated by the relaxive motion of conductors and fluxes, it is produced by the modial interactions of magneto- reluctance and capacitive directance.

encabulate!The original machine had a base-plate of prefabulated amulite, surrounded by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in direct line with the pentametric fan, the latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzelvanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar vaneshaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus- o-delta type placed in panendermic semiboloid solts in the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a non-reversible tremi pipe to the differential girdlespring on the ‘up’ end of the grammeter.

Forty-one manestically placed grouting brushes were arrranged to feed into the rotor slip stream a mixture of high S-value phenyhydrobenzamine and 5 percent reminative tetraiodohexamine. Both these liquids have specific pericosities given by p=2.4 Cn where n is the diathecial evolute of retrograde temperature phase disposition and C is the Chomondeley’s annual grillage coefficient. Initially, n was measured with the aid of a metapolar pilfrometer, but up to the present date nothing has been found to equal the transcetental hopper dadoscope.

Electrical engineers will appreciate the difficulty of nubbing together a regurgitative purwell and a superaminative wennel-sprocket. Indeed, this proved to be a stumbling block to further development until, in 1943, it was found that the use of anhydrous nagling pins enabled a kyptonastic boiling shim to be tankered.

The early attempts to construct a sufficiently robust spiral decommutator failed largely because of lack of appreciation of the large quasi-pietic stresses in the gremlin studs; the latter were specially designed to hold the roffit bars to the spamshaft. When, however, it was discovered that wending could be prevented by the simple addition of teeth to socket, almost perfect running was secured.

The operating point is maintained as near as possible to the HF rem peak by constantly fromaging the bituminous spandrels. This is a distinct advance on the standard nivelsheave in that no drammock oil is required after the phase detractors have remissed.

Undoubtedly, the Retroencabulator has now reached a very high level of technical development. It has been successfully used for operating nofer trunnions. In addition, whenever a barescent skor motion is required, it may be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocating dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration.

Unleashed upon the unsuspecting but eager ears of 1949, steeped as they were in the frenzied media coverage of the latest phenomenon of the skies, by the very popular British big band leader named Joe Loss.

With the able help of His Orchestra and the synchronized vocal apparatus of the assembled Loss Chords, Joe graciously gave the world his rendition of the musical wonderment known as The Flying Saucer, composed by one Arthur Pitt.

Ha! It’s just fabulous… I’m sure you’ll agree… thanks, Joe, wherever you are…

My great pal Ben Merkel sends along this wonderful Volkswagen ad from 1974 for the Blast from the Past Department. We had many an adventure driving around the country in my rock-solid little Beetle, you see.

Ah, yes… times were different then. Very different. Hell, everything was different. The NWO was just getting started and things seemed okay… cars didn’t have computers and you could change your own oil…

Ads were creative and humorous and reflected the happenings in the world. They’d never even attempt one like this today, would they? Wish they would, though. It’d be fun. Maybe get people thinking, too.

If Ted Kennedy drove a Volkswagen, he’d be President today.

Ted Kennedy 1974 VW AdIt floats.

The way our body is built, we’d be surprised if it didn’t.

The sheet of flat steel that goes underneath every Volkswagen keeps out water, as well as dirt and salt and other nasty things that can eat away at the underside of a car. So it’s watertight at the bottom.

And everybody knows it’s easier to shut the door on a Volkswagen after you’ve rolled down the window a little. That proves it’s practically airtight on top.

If it was a boat, we could call it the Water Bug.

But it’s not a boat, it’s a car.

And, like Mary Jo Kopechne, it’s only 99 and 44/100 percent pure.

So it won’t stay afloat forever. Just long enough.

Poor Teddy.

If he’d been smart enough to buy a Volkswagen, he never would have gotten into hot water.

Patience and Wisdom

Posted: May 2nd, 2009 in humor, philosophy
Tags: , , ,

One of the

greatest secrets

of life

is having both

patience

and

wisdom…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…via my dad. Thanks, Ig.

I don’t know, maybe it’s because 25% of my makeup is Russian, or maybe it’s just the significance of the guy on the world stage, but, I just think this story… and especially the image… is rad. And so, here you go…

Lenin's ArseBomb blows hole in Lenin statue

One of Russia’s most famous statues of Vladimir Lenin has been bombed, leaving the Bolshevik revolutionary with a gaping hole in his rear.

The bronze statue, in the city of St.  Petersburg, was badly damaged before dawn on Wednesday, when the blast blew a hole in Lenin’s coat.

No-one was hurt in the attack, the motive for which was unknown.

The statue, outside the Finland Station, marks the Bolshevik leader’s return from exile in April 1917.

“Today at 0430 [0030 GMT] there was an explosion at the Lenin monument at the Finland Station in the city centre,” a spokesman for the Saint Petersburg branch of the Russian emergency situations ministry told the AFP news agency.

“As a result of the explosion a crater of 80-100cm [31-39in] appeared on the monument,” he added.

Lenin gave a speech at the railway station after his return from exile.

Later that year he would lead the revolution that overthrew the government and would take the Communists to power for more than 70 years.

St Petersburg was the cradle of the Russian Revolution and was renamed Leningrad after Lenin’s death in 1924.

Lenin’s embalmed body remains on display in a mausoleum in Moscow.

“This photo was taken by photographer Jack Bradley and depicts the exact moment this boy, Harold Whittles, hears for the very first time ever. The doctor treating him has just placed an earpiece in his left ear. Date unknown.“

Mr. Harold Whittles

This is so sweet, isn’t it? Just look at that look in his eye… ha! Does that say OMG or what?

Kind of makes you think that all’s well with the world and that everything is going to be alright.

And that’s good, because that’s just the sort of thing I, and maybe you, need right now.

Thanks Tom!

Via my friend Tom Ritchford> Via BuzzFeed> Via The High Definite> Via Arbroath.